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     How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?

It's a love-hate thing.  I can't get anything done unless I waste a bunch
of time every day jogging ten boring miles, and in order to do this I have
to eat tons of food, for which I feel guilty.

     What is your biggest flaw?

I'm a cold-hearted jerk.

     What is your hangup with your mother?

She's a bitch because she fucked with me when I was growing up and she is
still in my head.

     6 favorite authors

Bukowski, Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Celine, Goncharov, and Ballard (with Gide,
Gogol, Camus, Kafka, Philip K. Dick, and Lovecraft not far behind).

     What are the hallmarks of success in life?

There aren't any.

     What is your biggest mental fuck-up?

Chronic introversion and reclusiveness-- interacting with another member of
the human race who I havn't know for over 10 years is usually a quick
process of termination.

     What is your favorite animal? Describe it.

I like lizards-- really vicious one that you can't pet.

     How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? Jump her?
     Dump her?

As I get older the amount of time I've known a girl before kissing, jumping
and dumping tends to increase because I don't innitiate new relationships
so what relationships I have tend to be drug up out of my past-- usually no
relationships at all.

     How old were you when you first kissed? Had sex? Smoked Pot?

My first kiss was at 9, sex at 14, pot at 4 (adult got me stoned-- with
friends, the first time was at 13).

     Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?

I started getting drunk every weekend when I was 11, had over 400 acid trip
before graduating from highschool (though my first hallucinatory experience
was with mushroom at age 13-- 7 grams), tried coke before I got into the
meth thing, sold pot to pay for my first 2 years of college, and drank at
least a third of a bottle of whiskey every day for a year and a half after
I turned 21-- I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea.  I'm now
thuroughly bored with drugs and just drink LOTS AND LOTS OF COFFEE.

     Have you ever been married/lived with someone? Who worked? Who cooked?

Married? No.  I don't associate with other people, much less live with them.

     Who cleaned?

I clean up my studio apartment sometimes :)

     Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook? What are the things you
     cook best?

Cooking tends to take a lot of time, so I usually just eat and forget about
the food thing--  though I can make some tasty Sri Lankan potatoes.

     Have you ever used any of the following: gel, hairspray, mousse,
     eyeliner, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zit cream, aftershave

I'm a big monkey and if I don't use deordorant I don't smell to nice.  I
use zit soap-- much easier.

     What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? College
     student? Working stiff?

On one of my loner acid trips I walked 25 miles out into the Emigrant
Forest and realized I was going to have to stay the night out there-- that
was as an adolescent.  I'm still finishing up my senior year in the
philosophy department at UCSC, but the most crazy thing so far was back
when I was doing drugs-- I took way, way too much of some really powerful
meth and stayed up for 4 days having detailed conversations with a frind of
mine who died in '87 and other various people from my past.

     If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be? If I were, what
     would I be?

I would be iceburg lettice-- you would be an avacado.

     If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome
     man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?

I don't go to parties, but if I was in that situation I would probably
smile and get another drink.

     Do you think there is life after death? On other planets?

I see death as the opposite of birth,  not the opposite of life.  Death is
the end of life--  how could there be life after death?

     Are you psychic?

     Are you psycho?

I'm a neurotic with an impending psychosis.

     Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be
     like to go completely insane?

I think I have a pretty good idea.

     Were you ever in the armed forces?


     Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?

Not that I can remember.

     What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50

The development of the computer?

     What is the biggest problem all women have?

Most of them aren't very aggressive-- women will hit on men, but they
rarely innitiate anything (in my experience... ).

     What is the biggest problem all men have?

Men are too damn aggressive.

     What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5 lines)

I don't know.

     Do you prefer plants or animals?

I prefer inanimate objects.

     If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would
     buy? The second? The last?

I would probably go right out and get a really nice computer with every
peripheral imaginable-- then I'd spend the rest on land, saving a little
bit to buy another pair of pants.

     Who has been the greatest influence in your life?

Different writers and different people from my past have been influential
in my life-- I would be hard pressed to say which was the greatest.

     How do people describe you?

I often wonder this myself.

     How do you describe yourself?

See the answers to the above questions.

     Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?

My entire contact with the media (and I don't have cable-- no T.V.) is via
the net and I too lazy to list all the zines and newsgroups-- lots of Mac

     What are your favorite shoes?

The purple ones.
please excuse any spelling mistakes...

- Curious Joe

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