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Application for sex.

>      How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?

I eat only to please you.

>      What is your biggest flaw?

My biggest flaw is that my superior intellect is often misunderstood by the
lower lifeforms which I'm forced to interact with day after grueling day.

>      What is your hangup with your mother?

I killed my mother and she now hangs in my basement closet. why?

>      3 favorite authors

Leyner, Sheckley, Borges

>      What are the hallmarks of success in life?

Halmarks? People are judged by how much money they have. what more do we
need to know?

>      What is your biggest mental fuck-up?

I love bringing women to have six to ten orgasams per session.. anything
less makes me feel get angry and violent.

>      What is your favorite animal? Describe it.

I like live snails. because they are chewy.

>      How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? 

2.66 days

Jump her?  2.67 days
Dump her?  3 days (give or take eight months)

>      How old were you when you first kissed? Had sex? Smoked Pot?

7, 16, 4

>      Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?

pot, twice a day at least, yes still.

>      Have you ever been married/lived with someone? Who worked? Who
>      cooked? Who cleaned?

Almost married, lived with, I worked, I cooked, we cleaned.

>      Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook? What are the things
>      you cook best?

I cook. I love cooking breakfast and a few select dinner treats. I like and
enjoy cooking.

>      Have you ever used any of the following: gel, hairspray, mousse,
>      eyeliner, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zit cream, aftershave

all of the above.

>      What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?

I tried to scew this girl at the daycare center and got caught. 1976.

>      College student? Working stiff?


>      If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be? If I were,
>      what would I be?

me? bananna you? a peach.

>      If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very
>      handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what
>      would you do?

I would kill him slowly then beat her to a bloody pulp. Oh wait.. umm.. no I
would turn my head and try to ignore the most obvious thought....them
fucking like wild dogs.. fucking pigs I hate women and those men who would
take them from me.. GOD DAMN I'VE HAD ENOUGH DAMNIT!
But I'm certainly not jeleous.

>      Do you think there is life after death? On other planets?

life after death? not likely. life on other planets? chances are good that
organized life exists somewhere else.

>      Are you psychic?

what exactly do you mean by psychic? ohhhh yeah.. I know what your
thinking.. sure I am.. 

>      Are you psycho?

perhaps. it depends on how much you will fuck me each day.  if I
don't get enough fucking tail I get really pissed off and start randomly
killing people. 

>      Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would
>      be like to go completely insane?

why yes, i do.

>      Were you ever in the armed forces?


>      Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?


>      What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50
>      years?

the invention of Astroglide.

>      What is the biggest problem all women have?


>      What is the biggest problem all men have?


>      What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5
>      lines)

too much worrying, not enough sex.

>      Do you prefer plants or animals?


>      If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you
>      would buy? The second? The last?

A house.

A better car. (one that works)

How would I know the very last thing that I'd buy?

>      Who has been the greatest influence in your life?

my mother.

>      How do people describe you?

tall, dark and undescribable.

>      How do you describe yourself?

short, light and negative.

>      Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?

no. oh wait, Electornic Musician, Mix and MacWeek. (they're all free)

>      What are your favorite shoes?

The kind that cover my foot and ankle.

So please tell me if I have won a date yet!!!!


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