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Q: How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?
A: I'm a man who likes to eat meat.  And candy.

Q: What is your biggest flaw?
A:  Maybe I'm a little chubby.

Q:What is your hangup with your mother?
A: I am 25 and live with her and I hate it when she makes a fuss over my
hair.  Also she always tells me to get a job.  And that I eat to much.  I
need to shave.  She's a nagger.

Q: 3 favorite authors
A: I don't read books.  I watch tv because you learn more.  Especially from
Rikki Lake and talk shows.  That's where I get my brains.

Q: What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Season tickets to the World Wrestling Federation, season tickets to the
truck and tractor pull, and a brand new trailor home.

Q:  What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A:  Once, I at a cube of butter because I thought it was cheese.

Q:  What is your favorite animal? Describe it.
A:  A snake.  Long and shiny.

Q:  How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? Jump her? Dump
A:  All of the girls I've been with have been paid for, if you catch my

Q:  How old were you when you first kissed? Had sex? Smoked Pot?
A:  20

Q:  Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?
A:  I sniff oinments and paint.  Usually a couple times a day.

Q:  Have you ever been married/lived with someone? Who worked? Who cooked?
Who cleaned?
A:  Never married.  I'm waiting for someone special.  My mom and I live
together. She works, cooks, and cleans up after me.  I'm above all that

Q:  Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook? What are the things you
cook best?
A:  As I said, mom does all that.  I can make cereal and toast.  Women are
the ones that should have to do that stuff.  I hope you can cook.   Otherwise
you won't have a chance with me.
Q:  Have you ever used any of the following: gel, hairspray, mousse,
eyeliner, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zit cream, aftershave.
A:  No.  I find that my natural smells are sufficiant.  Women should wear all
of that stuff.

Q: What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? College
student? Working stiff?
A:  I swallowed a couple of quarters, a marble and the cap of a tube of
toothpast when I was a teenager.

Q:  If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be? If I were, what
would I be?
A:  I'd be a banana.  You'd be a watermelon

Q:  If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man
and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A:  First off, I wouldn't let a girl of mine go out so it wouldn't happen.  A
womans place is in the home.

Q:  Do you think there is life after death? On other planets?
A:  I once saw a spaceship fly over my trailor.

Q:  Are you psychic?
A:  I don't know what that means.

Q:  Are you psycho?
A:  No

Q:  Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like
to go completely insane?
A:  I don't ..... why are you asking these questions.

Q:  Were you ever in the armed forces?
A:  The army wanted me to be a spy but I turned them down.

Q:  Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A:  Yes

Q:  What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A:  The guy who invented wrestling.  I love Hulk Hogan

Q:  What is the biggest problem all women have?
A:  They complain all the time.

Q:  What is the biggest problem all men have?
A:  Women

Q:  What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5 lines)
A:  They don't let porno movies show on regular tv.

Q:  Do you prefer plants or animals?
A:  I like snakes

Q:  If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
The second? The last?
A:  A nice new trailor home.  A truck.  A record player to play my LYNRD
SKYNRD albums.

Q:  Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A:  Larry Flint

Q:  How do people describe you?
A:  Women say I'm cuddly like a bear 'cause I'm big and I'm hairy.

Q:  How do you describe yourself?
A:  Cuddly like a bear.

Q:  Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?
A:  Are comic books magazines?

Q: What are your favorite shoes?
A: Boots


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