Q: How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?
A: I'm a man who likes to eat meat. And candy.
Q: What is your biggest flaw?
A: Maybe I'm a little chubby.
Q:What is your hangup with your mother?
A: I am 25 and live with her and I hate it when she makes a fuss over my
hair. Also she always tells me to get a job. And that I eat to much. I
need to shave. She's a nagger.
Q: 3 favorite authors
A: I don't read books. I watch tv because you learn more. Especially from
Rikki Lake and talk shows. That's where I get my brains.
Q: What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Season tickets to the World Wrestling Federation, season tickets to the
truck and tractor pull, and a brand new trailor home.
Q: What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Once, I at a cube of butter because I thought it was cheese.
Q: What is your favorite animal? Describe it.
A: A snake. Long and shiny.
Q: How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? Jump her? Dump
her?
A: All of the girls I've been with have been paid for, if you catch my
drift.
Q: How old were you when you first kissed? Had sex? Smoked Pot?
A: 20
Q: Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?
A: I sniff oinments and paint. Usually a couple times a day.
Q: Have you ever been married/lived with someone? Who worked? Who cooked?
Who cleaned?
A: Never married. I'm waiting for someone special. My mom and I live
together. She works, cooks, and cleans up after me. I'm above all that
stuff.
Q: Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook? What are the things you
cook best?
A: As I said, mom does all that. I can make cereal and toast. Women are
the ones that should have to do that stuff. I hope you can cook. Otherwise
you won't have a chance with me.
Q: Have you ever used any of the following: gel, hairspray, mousse,
eyeliner, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zit cream, aftershave.
A: No. I find that my natural smells are sufficiant. Women should wear all
of that stuff.
Q: What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent? College
student? Working stiff?
A: I swallowed a couple of quarters, a marble and the cap of a tube of
toothpast when I was a teenager.
Q: If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be? If I were, what
would I be?
A: I'd be a banana. You'd be a watermelon
Q: If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man
and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: First off, I wouldn't let a girl of mine go out so it wouldn't happen. A
womans place is in the home.
Q: Do you think there is life after death? On other planets?
A: I once saw a spaceship fly over my trailor.
Q: Are you psychic?
A: I don't know what that means.
Q: Are you psycho?
A: No
Q: Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like
to go completely insane?
A: I don't ..... why are you asking these questions.
Q: Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: The army wanted me to be a spy but I turned them down.
Q: Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
Q: What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: The guy who invented wrestling. I love Hulk Hogan
Q: What is the biggest problem all women have?
A: They complain all the time.
Q: What is the biggest problem all men have?
A: Women
Q: What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5 lines)
A: They don't let porno movies show on regular tv.
Q: Do you prefer plants or animals?
A: I like snakes
Q: If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
The second? The last?
A: A nice new trailor home. A truck. A record player to play my LYNRD
SKYNRD albums.
Q: Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Larry Flint
Q: How do people describe you?
A: Women say I'm cuddly like a bear 'cause I'm big and I'm hairy.
Q: How do you describe yourself?
A: Cuddly like a bear.
Q: Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?
A: Are comic books magazines?
Q: What are your favorite shoes?
A: Boots
-C
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