5/12/95
Hey, that was kinda fun. Did I pass?
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How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?
Grateful.
Sometimes because I'm hungry.
Sometimes just for fun.
Sometimes as foreplay.
What is your biggest flaw?
I'm human. Just the basics...
Sloth, Greed, Lust, Envy, Dopey, Sleepy, Grumpy, Doc.
What is your hangup with your mother?
None. She's pretty cool. Sometimes I wish she'd be a little
more assertive. She kind of lets people run over her.
Uh, you mind if I lay down on your couch?
3 favorite authors
Mark Helprin.
Einstein (not the physics stuff, though, way over my head).
Thoreau.
Ethan Canin.
Tim Cahill.
CS Lewis.
Is that three yet?
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
One really good lifelong friend (that would be Mark)
A long happy marriage (someday)
Lots of stories and very little furniture.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
I'm like a little kid on Christmas. Play with this toy for
five minutes, get bored, open the next, play with it...
I really should stick to something.
What is your favorite animal? Describe it.
Dogs. Big Labs.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her? Jump her?
Dump her?
Varies wildly.
Kiss - hours to weeks, usually days.
Jump her - days to months, usually a couple of months or so.
Dump her - weeks to years, usually about a year.
How old were you when you first kissed? Had sex? Smoked Pot?
Kiss - Five, Trisha Boerger, Brookside Elementary School, she Frenched
me, no shit. Cooties ceased to exist. I got weirded out when my
first girlfriend in the 6th grade kissed me sans tongue.
Sex - Eighteen. Ever see "The Graduate?" What a great flick.
Pot - Seventeen.
Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?
Alcohol - doesn't show up in drug screenings.
Endorphins (or whatever that stuff that your body churns
out when you run a long ways)
Coffee. Boatloads.
Have you ever been married/lived with someone? Who worked? Who
cooked? Who cleaned?
Lived with. We both did all three.
Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook? What are the things you
cook best?
Yes. Yes. Huge Pots of soup, chili, stew, guy stuff. Make it on
Sunday, eat it till Saturday.
Have you ever used any of the following: gel, hairspray, mousse,
eyeliner, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zit cream, aftershave
gel - No
hairspray - no
mousse - no
eyeliner - only on Haloween
cologne - yes, but not anymore
deo - yes
conditioner - yes, but not anymore
zit cream - no, thanks for the good skin, mom.
aftershave - no
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
Two friends and I just got in the car one day and drove across the
country. Summer vacation had just started. Ended up in New Orleans.
"Uh...hi, mom. I'm in Vegas. I'll be back in a couple of weeks.
Yes, I'm fine."
College student? Smuggled drugs from Holland to the UK. STUPID!
Working stiff? Walked in an quit my "good job" one day and went to
Africa to hike around and take pictures for about three months.
If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be? If I were, what
would I be?
I would rather be a quadriplegic than have sex with men. Sorry, bad
joke.
A banana. Everyone likes bananas. And they're good for you.
They're simple. They compliment other things. They go good with
ice cream. You'd be a banana, too. I'm sure of it.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man
and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
Go up and make a pass at him to make her jealous. Nah. Probably
nothing. Depends. If I thought she was trying to make me jealous I'd
just try to ignore it. I try not to show my hand too much on stuff
like that. I just try and figure out what's really going on. If I
couldn't trust her, then she shouldn't be my girlfriend.
Yeah, I'd ignore it. Or maybe go and piss in his gas tank if they were
serving beer.
Do you think there is life after death? On other planets?
Yes. Yes.
Are you psychic?
I knew you were going to ask that...
Are you psycho?
Sometimes.
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be
like to go completely insane?
Yep.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
Cub scouts for about a month.
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
Yep. Lost an eye.
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50
years?
Going to the moon. (Or faking it quite well)
What is the biggest problem all women have?
Thinking that men (are/should be) just like them.
What is the biggest problem all men have?
Thinking that women (are/should be) just like them.
What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5 lines)
Wealth = power. Greed. Lawyers telling us to sue each other for
bullshit reasons. The prevailing attitude that the world owes you
something just for showing up. Television. Talk shows, TV preachers.
The prevailing attitude of "I got mine. Fuck you."
Do you prefer plants or animals?
For companionship, animals.
For food, plants.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would
buy? The second? The last?
First: The note to mom's house.
Then: A 50+ foot sailboat for Mark (my best friend).
Last (as in NEVER): A BMW (unless is was a motorcycle)
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
Mark. Introduced me to God.
How do people describe you?
"Gosh, he seemed so NORMAL. I never would have dreamed he would..."
(you've seen this on the news.)
How do you describe yourself?
I try not to. You end up contradicting your actions.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?
Outside, Nat'l Geo, LA Times, SF Chronicle, WIRED.
What are your favorite shoes?
My running shoes.
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