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Like a moth to a flame, I feel compelled to answer this.  The harsh
light of self-examination it requires just might burn me - but I'll
plunge in anyway...

    How do you FEEL about food. Why do you eat?
Normally I treat food like fuel for the machine.  Occasionally the
right setting, companionship and preparation produce something more
sensual and far more worthwhile - but sadly I rarely spend the time
and money that kind of experience requires.

    What is your biggest flaw?
Being too analytical.  I think too hard about things that should be

    What is your hangup with your mother?
See the above... 

    3 favorite authors
Bill (The Bard) Shakespeare, Thomas Pynchon, whoever wrote Ecclesiastes 

    What are the hallmarks of success in life?
Contentment, a sense of self-worth, making a positive contribution to
the state of the universe.

    What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
Used to be my temper - now that that's (more) under control: procrastination.

    What is your favorite animal? Describe it.
A black bear.  Powerful and solitary.

    How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?  A few days.
    Jump her?  A few weeks.
    Dump her?  A few years.  (You said "usually.")

    How old were you when you first kissed?  16
    Had sex?    19
    Smoked Pot?  12

    Do you use recreational drugs? What? When? Still?
Yep.  Just about anything that didn't require a needle.  In my early
college years, mostly.  An occasional toke is all that remains...

    Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
                Who worked? Who cooked? Who cleaned?
I've lived with women twice for a period of years, both on our own and
as part of communal homes.  The arrangements varied, but usually we
both did a share of both.  Often the cooking was more her deal, but I
would do more housework.

    Do you know how to cook? Do you like to cook?
Yep.  As long as it's not just for me.  I only enjoy cooking if
someone else is going to share it.

    What are the things you cook best?
Stir-fry, chilli, spaghetti bolognese

    Have you ever used any of the following:
gel: No, hairspray: No, mousse: Once,
eyeliner: Halloween, cologne: Gave it up for Lent, deoderant: Daily,
conditioner: Weekly, zit cream: Ahhh - the bad ol' days...,
aftershave: No.

    What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
Engaged in shoplifting contests with J.D. friends.
    College student?
Danced on the rim of the Grand Canyon (far too close to the edge -
I've got the X-ray to prove it) while under the influence of a
plethora of controlled substances.
    Working stiff?
Made love in the office, with one of my co-workers, during business hours.

    If you were a fruit or vegetable, what would you be?
A carrot.  Good for the eyes, long and thin, tough but tasty if eaten raw.

    If I were, what would I be?
What is this - "The Dating Game?"  I don't know you that well, but I
guess I'd say: Pomagranite - kind of rough on the surface, but sweet
and tender if you know how to treat it right.

    If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very
handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would
you do?
Most likely, continue on with whatever I was doing before I noticed.
If she appeared upset, I might wander over and ask "'sup?"

    Do you think there is life after death?   Nope.
    On other planets?   Probably.

    Are you psychic?   Occasionally, in my dreams.

    Are you psycho?    Occasionally, in my dreams.

    Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would
        be like to go completely insane?
Not really, though I sometimes I've felt like stability is slowly
slipping out of my grasp.  If it ever really went, I don't know that
I'd come back...

    Were you ever in the armed forces?

    Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?

    What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
The discovery of the underlying mechanisms of genetics.

    What is the biggest problem all women have?
Being weaker than men, and so prey to all the evil that men are
capable of.

    What is the biggest problem all men have?
Being driven by instinct to out-compete other men in the reproductive games...

    What is the biggest problem with our society? (no more than 5 lines)
Two sides to a coin: victims who blame their oppressors, and
oppressors who refuse to recognize the humanity of their victims.

    Do you prefer plants or animals?
Animals have more interesting behavior, plants are more peaceful.

    If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A 40' sailboat.
    The second?
A plot of land for "The Nature Conservancy".
    The last?
A new computer.

    Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
My maternal grandfather.

    How do people describe you?
Tall, smart, boyish, laid-back.

    How do you describe yourself?
Thin, lucky, happy, awestruck.

    Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers? Which?
None just now, I'm in a transition phase...

    What are your favorite shoes?

Great questions - thanks for giving me the opportunity to answer them!

  Steve Wilson Turner  (swt@uiuc.edu)

Those who make a distinction between education and entertainment don't
know the first thing about either.     -- Marshall McLuhan

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