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A: Erg Bronkweiler

A: erg@neo.com

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: 'Cause it's yummy. Nice thing to do in the afternoon at a cafe. That sorta thing.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: Hmmm.... Not telling.

3 favorite authors
A: Tough, tough. Wilde, Shakespeare, Rilke.

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Increased taxes, stress, and heartrate? Er, being happy and not having to answer to anyone too much? Depends on how you mean success I guess.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: What was the question again?

What is your favorite animal?
A: The planarian
Describe it.
A: They're so cuuuute. (Low maintenance, too.)

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: 1-1200 days
Jump her?
A: 2-1400 days
Dump her?
A: Decline to state

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 5
Had sex
A: 6
Smoked Pot?
A: 17

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

A: CAFFEIN, alcohol, cardamom gum, various smoked toxicants (aside from salmon)

A: During the day, at social occasions, when availible, when I forget how my throat feels afterwards, respectively.

A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated

Who worked?
A: Both
Who cooked?
A: Both
Who cleaned?
A: No one

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Food mostly

Have you ever used any of the following:

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Make out with a girl in her extremely conservative mother's basement when I had no place else in the state to stay? I think that might have been it.
as a college student?
A: Get totally wasted in a foreign country then wander aimlessly through the streets, trying not to annoy the local constabulary.
as a working stiff?
A: Tear off to burning man at a moment's notice. Or was it going into business? Getting up in the morning?

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A vegetable.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Something that went well with shawerma.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man with your girlfriend quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: See what had become of his girlfriend. If she were cute, take advantage of his absence. Compare notes afterwards cataloging all of his flaws.

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

A: Decline to state.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Jell-o

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: The desire to be thinner than they are.

...all men have?
A: The desire to win at the expense of others.

...with our society?
A: People categorising the actions of others in blanket statements which have no respect for individual differences or complexity.

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

A: Their higher fat content makes them sweeter and more satisfying.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: More bookshelves

The second?
A: More books

The last?
A: More bookshelves

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Hmmm...My father or mother I s'pose.

How do people describe you?
A: Usually in English, but sometimes in other languages or pictures. Occasionally with rude gestures.

How do you describe yourself?
A: In short sentences with averted eyes when no one is listening.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

A: Economist, Monk

What are your favorite shoes?
A: Comfy ones that look nice.

Additional Comments
A: "I never touched your daughter!"

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