A: I've been meaning to write this down. 2:30 PM Bowling Green, Kentucky. It is early April, and in the middle of this cold spell the temperature suddenly snaps and it's eighty degrees. I just got out of the longest history class in, well, history, and I run immediately into my roommate. He's got the semi-crazed expression easily explained away by the ten strip of acid in his hands...an hour later it seems completely obvious that we must go to the beach. Now. Panama City Florida is over six hundred miles away. My Jeep, a 77 CJ-7 pieced together with steel and bumper stickers, waits faithfully. No top, windsheild folded to the hood and secured by an old leather belt cut in half, steering so badly out of alignment the wheel moves like the yoke of an oil tanker, it seems like the perfect craft for this mission. I will tell you this, I will never feel anything like that seven hour trip. We hit the bearch at one, and was back in the Jeep at two, windsheild up now, driving home. It started snowing just outs ide of Alabama. My face didn't restore it's normal color for over a week. I miss the Jeep.
as a working stiff?
A: About a week ago I got up in a meeting at Sega and told the dozen or so executives (my boss, his boss, and his boss) that they were all completely wrong and that they were fools for not devoting more money for online research. I'm either getting canned or getting a raise.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A lemon.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Lemonade.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: I probably wouldn't see. I'm notoriously dense when it comes to shit like that. I always get in trouble for flirting and never understand why. Don't misunderstand, I have a healthy dose of jealousy, I just recognize it as self-doubt. When it kicks in it usually means it's my fault...
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: No
Why?
A: I've gone out there a considerable distance, but I've always felt completely capable of making it back. When you can;t make it back anymore, that's madness. I've never been that far...
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: The Zippo lighter. I quit smoking and still carry a Zippo to remind me what scientific perfection looks like. Simple.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: fear
...all men have?
A: fear
...with our society?
A: We're so wrapped up in bullshit that we forget to LIVE a little bit more everyday. That and billboards. Billboards piss me off. And telephones. If there is any more powerful indicator of the degradation of mankind the the telephone, you show it to me! But you know how I feel about that already...
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: More soul.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A tin of Altoids, the Curiously Strong Peppermint
The second?
A: A 1970 Chevrolet Malibu SS Convertible
The last?
A: A tin of Altoids, the Curiously Strong Peppermint
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: David Jaggers
How do people describe you?
A: It depends heavily on how long they talk to me and my Orangepeel Factor at the time. (Orangepeel Factor: How many layer of not you that you put on top of yourself in social situations) Superficially - The guy with the hair.
How do you describe yourself?
A: I am trying really hard not to. I self analize till it is actually physically painful and I've learned a lot, but nothing I'd think to write here.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Might, Spin, Wired, New Media, Film Threat, Spy, The Crash Update, MacWorld, Playboy (for the pictures), American Photo
What are your favorite shoes?
A: An old pair of Doc Martens. Only boot that has every worked with my foot.
Additional Comments
A: I've put far more time into this than I should have. I laughed at some of your questions the first time through but now they all sorta make sense. I'm very tired now, and I'd very much like a backrub. You would have gotten longer rants if you had made your input boxes bigger. 2:51 in Redwood City, and this is Vagabond Jim saying sleep well, Sonic, whomever you are....
VJ 9-2-95
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