Sun, 1 Oct 1995 23:40:45 -0700
Name:
A: Jeffrey Hoffman
Email:
A: cowboys@email.unc.edu
Home Page:
A: http://uptown.turnpike.net/J/jhoffman
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Food feels good. I eat because I get headaches if I don't. I also like the feeling of a food coma.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I don't know when to stop.
3 favorite authors
A: Alvin Toffler (The Third Wave)
Dostoyevsky (Crime and Punishment)
Frank Herbert (Dune)
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Being happy on your own terms
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I can't spel.
What is your favorite animal?
A: The Neuse River Waterdog.
Describe it.
A: A rare aquatic salamander found only in a few NC rivers. When fighting it flares its gills and curls its lip like a dog.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: As soon as she lets me.
Jump her?
A: As soon as she lets me.
Dump her?
A: As soon as she lets someone else jump her.
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 5 or 6, but that doesn't really count...
Had sex
A: 17
Smoked Pot?
A: 17
Do you use recreational drugs?
A:
What?
A: You'll find out on our date...
When?
A:
Still?
A:
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: We both did...
Who cooked?
A: Well, she was in charge, but I did lots of the grunt works like peeling potatoes, etc...
Who cleaned?
A: We both did...
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: No
What are the things you cook best?
A: Any kind of pasta dish, grilled cheese, Pop Tarts
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: mousse, cologne, deoderant, conditioner, zitcream, aftershave
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I climbed a 200+ foot tall smokestack at my high school the night before graduation and spray painted IHTFP -- our code for I Hate This Fucking Place in big letters followed by the Van Halen logo.
as a college student?
A: Not really "crazy," but just plain dumb -- I beer bonged 13 beers in 1.5 hours...one hanging upside down from a basketball goal and one lying down on my back.
as a working stiff?
A: Became a working stiff.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A fruit.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Ditto
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Nothing...
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Because, in answering Jimi, yes -- I have been experienced.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: The Web.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: They want men to read their minds.
...all men have?
A: They want all women to want to have sex with them.
...with our society?
A: Too uptight.
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: I have and love both, but plants don't vomit on your carpet.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A ticket to Amsterdam.
The second?
A: A gram of Polm.
The last?
A: A ticket home.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: My dad.
How do people describe you?
A: Confident, loud, and short.
How do you describe yourself?
A: Ditto.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No
Which?
A:
What are your favorite shoes?
A: Birks
Additional Comments
A: Where do you want to go on our date?
How 'bout a King Crimson concert?