Tue, 3 Oct 1995 16:08:54 -0700
Name:
A: Jeff Smith
Email:
A: jeff@rice.edu
Home Page:
A: http://www-dsp.rice.edu/~jeff
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I feel I have a good relationship with food. I love to eat, yet need
very little nutrition to function. No matter how much I eat, I never gain weight, and yet if I eat very little I don't lose weight, either. Food like me, and I like it.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: My inability to concentrate on my DAMN RESEARCH!
3 favorite authors
A: V. Nabakov, G.G.Marquez, and Seutonius.
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: More happiness than sadness, and an amusing death.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I fell in love with someone who didn't deserve it.
What is your favorite animal?
A: My mom's cat (how banal).
Describe it.
A: It's a silver Maine Coon Cat. She's awful sweet, but farts if fed the wrong cat-food.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: About a week.
Jump her?
A: Hmmn.. I usually _intend_ to wait a few weeks, but we usually end up in bed very quickly.
Dump her?
A: I've never dumped anyone.
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 16
Had sex
A: 18
Smoked Pot?
A: 18
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Alchohol, caffeine and a few others.
When?
A: When I'm not busy with the rest of my life.
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Neither
Who worked?
A:
Who cooked?
A:
Who cleaned?
A:
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: I cook excellent indian and korean food. My cilarntro pesto is unparalleled.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: All but aftershave. Mind you, most of them were used when i dressed up in drag for a party.
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Smoked corn-silk, 'cause a friend and I read about it in the "Soup & Rob" books.
as a college student?
A: Dated a woman who was later arrested for armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.
as a working stiff?
A: I have never left the hallowed halls of academia; 20 years in the ivory tower and going STRONG!
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Orange.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Celery or possibly a grape; I'd have to smell you to know.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Be jealous, buy her a gift and try to determine if she loves me.
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: I have had a fair number of friends who are insane (paranoid schitzophrenic and manic-depressive). Them wacky artists..
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: The atmoic bomb. Hey -- I'm not a big FAN of it, but it's been pretty damn important.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: I have never met a woman who is entriely at peace with her own body. A woman I dated claimed she had "fat ankles." Huh?
...all men have?
A: TV sports. What's the attraction in watching OTHER people play games? I am dumbfounded.
...with our society?
A: Not enough nudity.
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: Plants are much prettier. And don't pee on you.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: Some new shoes. These ones are killing me.
The second?
A: I suppose, some new socks.
The last?
A: A hat?
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: My best friend from highschool, John.
How do people describe you?
A: That guy with the weird hair.
How do you describe yourself?
A: Riot nrrrrd!
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: NY Times
What are your favorite shoes?
A: My hiking boots; gore-tex & thinsulate 4-season boots. Mmmm!
Additional Comments
A: