Wed, 4 Oct 1995 17:14:08 -0700
Name:
A: Sid the Shark
Email:
A: sid@ocean.gov
Home Page:
A: http://ocean.gov/marine.life/~sid
Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: How about unbuttoned?
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I don't feel about food. I think about it. I am a very intellectual shark. I eat when I go into a blood frenzy.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: Dead-looking eyes. Being a shark and all.
3 favorite authors
A: Darwin, Edmund O. Wilson, Stephen Jay Gould
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: I don't read Hallmark. I go to Afterwords, where they have the alternatice cards.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Brain the size of a pea
What is your favorite animal?
A: Plankton
Describe it.
A: Little fishy things. Attract my prey.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: I have no lips. How can I kiss?
Jump her?
A: As soon as I smell blood.
Dump her?
A: When I am done eating.
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: I repeat: I have no lips.
Had sex
A: 16, like everybody else on the planet
Smoked Pot?
A: How can you smoke underwater?
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: No
What?
A: Only business drugs
When?
A: During work hours
Still?
A: No
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: All
Who cooked?
A: All
Who cleaned?
A: Who cleans underwater?
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: Stir-fry, burritos, pasta sauces
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Who needs beauty treatments in the ocean?
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Attempted to climb onto dry land
as a college student?
A: Filled out a web date application
as a working stiff?
A: I'm actually rather quite flexible
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A shark
If I were, what would I be?
A: A girl shark
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Ask him to join my commune
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: All sharks are insane
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Personal computers
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: They are the only minority that is in the majority
...all men have?
A: They too are stuck in their patriarchical power system
...with our society?
A: OJ. Nuff said.
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: Sharks don't eat plants.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A self-propelled fish tank
The second?
A: A pet plankton
The last?
A: I'd buy you an ice cream
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Me
How do people describe you?
A: Wet, dead-eyed, kinda leathery skin, big teeth
How do you describe yourself?
A: A suave. sophisticated shark
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No
Which?
A: Paper melts in water
What are your favorite shoes?
A: As with lips, I have no feet
Additional Comments
A: Can I be Ms. October?