webshite/applications submitted

Wed, 11 Oct 1995 17:11:45 -0700

Name:
A: Just call me joe

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Food should exist in the realm of the sublime, always. If your food does not delight each of your senses, you are wasting calories.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: I tend to go overboard lavishing expensive gifts on the women I date.

3 favorite authors
A: Neal Stephenson, Spaulding Gray, Douglas Hofsteader

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Happiness, for yourself and those you love

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I think that has yet to happen.

What is your favorite animal?
A: a cat
Describe it.
A: furry, purrs, does whatever the hell it wants

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: I'm supposed to know them?
Jump her?
A: I'm supposed to know them?
Dump her?
A: They usually dump me

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 12
Had sex
A: 18
Smoked Pot?
A: 24

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: What don't I use

When?
A: whenever I feel like it.

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: both
Who cooked?
A: mostly me
Who cleaned?
A: both

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Pies, elaborate pastries involving fresh fruit and chocolate

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Whatever it takes.

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I don't know, I'm not completely done with being an adolescent.
as a college student?
A: Studied, I certainly wouldn't do that if I were a college student again.
as a working stiff?
A: Shhh, that's a secret

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: bored
If I were, what would I be?
A: lunch

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: suggest a threesome

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: I've lived with a woman

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A:

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: men

...all men have?
A: women (couldn't see that one coming, could you?)

...with our society?
A:

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

Why?
A: Animals don't die without letting you know there's a problem.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: dinner for two at my favorite frech restaurant, in Paris

The second?
A: a night in a hotel room on the Seine

The last?
A: I manage money well, it won't run out

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A:

How do people describe you?
A: Evasive

How do you describe yourself?
A: How do you mean?

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No

Which?
A:

What are your favorite shoes?
A: who can choose just one pair?

Additional Comments
A: I'm already married, but I thought I would see how I fare.


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