Wed, 22 Nov 1995 04:51:04 -0800
Name:
A: Cal McInvale
Email:
A: godot@wolfenet.com
Home Page:
A: http://www.wolfenet.com/~godot/
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: If I could build one of those 1950s Mad Scientist shrinking rays & shrink a thousand ballet dancers to the sice of bread crumbs & then have them dance Giselle barefoot across my tongue... it would be an experience similar to eating. Food tastes good, y'know? (Except for coconut, which makes me wheeze & itch, and squash, which is yucky.) Mainly, I eat to stay alive, though. I tried not eating once: I ended up at the drive-thru of a Taco Bell with a Ziploc bag full of pennies. It was three a.m. and life was sucking at that moment. That burrito grande is still in my digestive tract... somewhere.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: Easily distracted... what?
3 favorite authors
A: Flannery O'Connor, Thomas Pynchon, Michael Chabon.
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Friends (not the TV show), smiling, the ability to get a good night's sleep. Also, good haircuts are nice.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Sometimes I'm TOO skeptical.
What is your favorite animal?
A: Cat (Felis domesticus).
Describe it.
A: Wacky, aloof yet friendly, warm.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: 1-2 weeks
Jump her?
A: 2 weeks - several months
Dump her?
A: 5 minutes
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 15
Had sex
A: 15
Smoked Pot?
A: 15
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Marijuana, alcohol, the occasional stray, lots of coffee. cigarette
When?
A: Alcohol rarely, mj about once or twice a month, cigs a little more often, coffee every day.
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: Both
Who cooked?
A: Me
Who cleaned?
A: Both
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: Chicken cacciatore, rad na (thai dish), shrimp etouffee
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Gel, deodorant, conditioner
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: On a road trip to the Florida Keys, I got caught in a hurricane!
as a college student?
A: Filled an elevator full of popcorn.
as a working stiff?
A: Send weird postcards to famous people.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Orange
If I were, what would I be?
A: Raspberry
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Nothing. Why?
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Once upon a noggin time I lost it completely. Wigged totally out & ended up living in New Orleans, participating in a rather seedy lifestyle, consorting with topless dancers & pushers. Got a nasty drug/drink habit going, went days without bathing. Looked into the abyss, as Nietszche would say. Saw Pat Robertson inviting me in for a drink. Sobered up, screwed my head back on & stopped acting like Sid Vicious.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: New Legos.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: Think men are weird.
...all men have?
A: Think women are weird.
...with our society?
A: Too resistant to change, too willing to blindly accept change. Which translates into: not skeptical enough, I suppose.
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: I don't understand what plants are saying to me.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A postcard.
The second?
A: A stamp.
The last?
A: A breve.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Socrates
How do people describe you?
A: Intelligent, skeptical, inquisitive, argumentative.
How do you describe yourself?
A: Just a guy. A smart guy. But just a guy.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No
Which?
A:
What are your favorite shoes?
A: My old dirty hiking boots
Additional Comments
A: Do you really read these? Or do you just show them to your friends & laugh about what people say? Have you ever gone out with a person who completed this form? Do you know Gregory Pleshaw?