Fri Dec 1 1:20:44 1995
Name:
A: Juanito El Culito
Email:
A: Cannot disclose...I'm actually supposed to be working.
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I feel that food is more or less a strategy, I eat to absorb the booze and pills
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I'm terribly cute and not in the least bit vain
3 favorite authors
A: Catherine Dunn, Ken Kesey and Kurt Vonnegut
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Reaching 30 without ulcers
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I'm way too nice
What is your favorite animal?
A: Doggie
Describe it.
A: Loyal, needy and cute
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: As soon as she'll let me
Jump her?
A: Same as above
Dump her?
A: Never!!!
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 15
Had sex
A: 18
Smoked Pot?
A: 15
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Da' chronic and lesser herbs
When?
A: Alla' time I be tokin'
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: Both
Who cooked?
A: Me
Who cleaned?
A: Mostly me
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: Spicy dishes
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: cologne, deodorant, conditioner
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I smashed windows at my school
as a college student?
A: I cheated an entire semester in a class ( I guess that's not very crazy, though)
as a working stiff?
A: I get high at work sometimes ( I know, I'm just a dynamo of bad craziness)
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Rice
If I were, what would I be?
A: Red Beans
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: I would be compelled to mind my own business.
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: No
Why?
A: Them doctors don't know sheeeut!
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Modern dentistry
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: Judge too quickly (but I could be mistaken)
...all men have?
A: That darn testosterone!
...with our society?
A: What more can I say, it's fukt!!!
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: Some base form of communication can occur
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: New car (cliche')
The second?
A: New house (cliche', cliche')
The last?
A: I'd set my folks up
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: A lotta' writers
How do people describe you?
A: Stoic
How do you describe yourself?
A: With graphs
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Bass Player, Film Threat, Rolling Stone
What are your favorite shoes?
A: Steel-toed ones
Additional Comments
A: Best wishes and Happy Holidays from Juanito El Culito, yr amigo in Texas.