webshite/applications submitted

Fri Dec 1 14:24:27 1995

A: wayne b

A: liarliarhaironfire@beatthief.com

Home Page:
A: www.beatthief.com

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: whateva

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: while the act of eating itself is not always that pleasant to watch or partake in; conceptualizing food and idolizing food as more than just a basic survival issue is very important to me. consumption for consumptions sake is sorta ugly. i either make food a religious experience or make it very utilitarian. nothing in between. depending on how i feel/how much time and energy i have to fantasize and/or prepare. why is this the first question? very odd. is it an issue for you? it is a fucked up important issue for people in the us; women especially. but boys are getting wacked on it too.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: selfish insensitive boy-dickhead

3 favorite authors
A: this month: andre gide; le immoraliste cormac mccarthy: blood meridian victor hugo: hunchback notre dame

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: havent found out yet.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: im dISSSSleXIC. gott the ADD too. sometimes i cant feel.

What is your favorite animal?
A: none. humans cant truly appreciate animals. they treat their favorites like cartoons.animals are never cartoons.
Describe it.

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: a few weeks.
Jump her?
A: her bones? i dont 'jump' girls.
Dump her?
A: usually the dumpee, but the few times i dumped, not quickly enough.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: lips: 12 frenchie: 13 or 14
Had sex
A: 14
Smoked Pot?
A: 14

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

A: gummie bears/hot sauce/spicy food/soft pretzel/wheat-bread

A: all the fucking time

A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: both
Who cooked?
A: both
Who cleaned?
A: both

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: EYEtalian food.

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: mousse(14 y/o) deodrant (not anymore) conditioner (every day)

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: id rather not say. im not proud. the poetry on my zine has some of the antics
as a college student?
A: hosted a moving orgy in a borrowed luxury sedan. drugs and rock and roll followed.
as a working stiff?
A: lied cheated and stole big bucks. i dont know. um smoked miked d's bong. tape his demo tapes. i dont know/.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: veg
If I were, what would I be?
A: i guess you want to hear me say fruit. sweet fruit.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: chill.

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: No

Are you psychic?
A: Yes

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

A: would rather not say

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: exploration of the chemical workings of the brain

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: all the ones i have loved have made me feel bad about myself at some point

...all men have?
A: predictibility, no imagination

...with our society?
A: we are fucking pigs. we will all go to hell. i am sure of this.

Which do you prefer:
A: Plants

A: i am a vegeterian, but i really dont like dealing with animals. feels so unnatural.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: gummi bears

The second?

The last?
A: a gun

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: my other personalities

How do people describe you?
A: funny but cyncical, smart, determined, opinionated, a dick, fun, original

How do you describe yourself?
A: i dont.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No


What are your favorite shoes?
A: nike or teva sandals. like jesus for the 90s.

Additional Comments
A: yeah. yates suggested i do this cos it was 'funny'. i dont know how amusing i am, but it has been very therapeutic for a mean hangover.

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