Wed Dec 6 0:33:18 1995
Name:
A: Ignatius Loyola?
Email:
A: beelzebub@666.com (no kidding!)
Home Page:
A: Ain't got one. The Web sucks.
Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: can I be all three?
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I like food! Food is good!
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I can't resist filling out forms.
3 favorite authors
A: Emily Bronte, James "Kibo" Parry, Susie Bright
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Getting a date with Sonic.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: zapped acid brain my with I ... uh ...
What is your favorite animal?
A: Sonic.
Describe it.
A: You tell me.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: Maybe it's the other way around?
Jump her?
A: But maybe it's not.
Dump her?
A: How dare you question my motives?
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: Does that incident with my uncle count?
Had sex
A: Someone mentioned this sex thing to me. What's the big fuss about?
Smoked Pot?
A: uh ... what was the question again?
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Head cleaner, CD-zapped-in-microwave fumes
When?
A: at Thursday Night Dinners
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: Neither. The dog did it.
Who cooked?
A: Neither. The dog did it.
Who cleaned?
A: Neither. The dog did it.
Do you know how to cook?
A: No
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: heroin? Does that count?
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: mousse gives you a good high, but with zitcream you just get a bad hangover
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Dreamed up a wild story about billboards with Satanic messages like "http://www.bankamerica.com" on them.
as a college student?
A: What's college?
as a working stiff?
A: What's work?
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: a brain-dead homosexual on a respirator
If I were, what would I be?
A: probably the same thing.
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Invite him to a menage-a-trois.
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Because I am.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: Yes
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Uh ... this survey is getting kind of long.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: I dunno. Never been one myself.
...all men have?
A: They aren't women.
...with our society?
A: Not enough Ecstasy to go around.
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: They never run away when you go down on them.
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: more drugs!
The second?
A: A bunch of corrupt policemen.
The last?
A: A one-way ticket to Argentina, real fast-like.
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Ann Hess.
How do people describe you?
A: Big, bald, and surly-looking; someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley
How do you describe yourself?
A: I use flowing language and eloquent phrases to paint a richly-detailed tableau of the splendor that is me.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Soldier of Fortune, Martha Stewart's Living
What are your favorite shoes?
A: Survey schmurvey.
Additional Comments
A: It's cool to have a three-letter first name and a four-letter last name