Thu Dec 21 21:53:13 1995
Name:
A: joshua lupus sears cronauer beck
Email:
A: jimi19422aol.com
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: i think that eating is a sin, and once you have heard me preach, you will understand the ungodliness of food. here, take this flyer.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: i exist for the purpose of having shifty eyes
3 favorite authors
A: ezra pound, walt whitman, william s burroughs
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: getting ice cream after surgery, sleeping for 20 hours w/out medication, singing the smurfs theme song in front of high school students
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: why do you ask that? what have you heard?
What is your favorite animal?
A: the wild seminiforious rodenti
Describe it.
A: it scurries through my every bodily oriface
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: at least 30 seconds
Jump her?
A: never ever ever. i am already stalking some one thanks
Dump her?
A: 31 seconds
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 9
Had sex
A: 13
Smoked Pot?
A: 13( it was a wild night)
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: pot, pcp, some orange stuff i licked off this girl's navel at camp
When?
A: when it's handy. i never buy unless it's not for me
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Neither
Who worked?
A:
Who cooked?
A:
Who cleaned?
A:
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: omelets, egg rolls
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: deodorant, zitcream, conditioner( some one stuck gum in my hair
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: i dunno i'm not done yet
as a college student?
A: y'know that thing
as a working stiff?
A: licked a stamp(they are sooo nasty, i have a complex0
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: kiwi
If I were, what would I be?
A: mango
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: let out a loud, tequila-tainted burp to see if i could stop all of the conversations abruptly, then smile and say,"any body wanna have wild, passionate, buck nekkid sex on the floor as long as my girl has silently agreed to adultery?"
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: i spent 3 years of my childhood in a hospital having microsurgery on my leg.
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: all that nuclear stuff is very important to the details of our doom tommorow.
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: i'm assuming that whole menstruation thing is a pain in the ass
...all men have?
A: we usually lack control of our bodily functions( from urination to actual sacred thought)
...with our society?
A: rules under the full knowledge that they will be broken
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: they can evolve into animals and make me even happier
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: something for you, honeypot
The second?
A: another thing for you
The last?
A: something for my cat
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: my dad(what a cliche')
How do people describe you?
A: they usually scream and run, but one young lady described me as 'an old man and a child'. i'm sure it means something.
How do you describe yourself?
A: a burp incarnate.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: new yorker local paper, rolling stone
What are your favorite shoes?
A: going barefoot is the best
Additional Comments
A: i love you more than micheal j fox