webshite/applications submitted

Wed Jan 24 13:25:58 1996

Name:
A: J.A.M.

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Eat to survive. I like pork. Ever smoke a hog?

What is your biggest flaw?
A: 6'6"

3 favorite authors
A: Bukowski, Shakespeare, Coleridge (confessions of an opium eater)

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: I haven'y killed anyone.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: spending a fortune at CalArts

What is your favorite animal?
A: platypus
Describe it.
A: hairy

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: 1 week
Jump her?
A: 1 minute
Dump her?
A: 3 months

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 12
Had sex
A: 19
Smoked Pot?
A: 21

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: whatever

When?
A: a long time ago

Still?
A: No

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated

Who worked?
A: both of us
Who cooked?
A: her
Who cleaned?
A: me

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: grilled cheese

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deoderant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: deoderant

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: woke up
as a college student?
A: told the dean of students to fuck off
as a working stiff?
A: refused to get a real job. i'd rather be an unemployed filmmaker.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: kiwi
If I were, what would I be?
A: melon balls

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: shoot him dead

Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: I saw a guy burn death in a firey car crash. I unsuccessfully tried to pull him from the flames. crazy way to meet god

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: motion pictures

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: hairy snatches

...all men have?
A: small dicks

...with our society?
A: overcrowded

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

Why?
A: never kick a dog

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: a toyota 4runner

The second?
A: a 9mm pistol (silver)

The last?
A: a hooker

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: no one

How do people describe you?
A: pleasantly tall

How do you describe yourself?
A: swell

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No

Which?
A: they are free at the library

What are your favorite shoes?
A: vasque sundowners

Additional Comments
A: i like kittens


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