webshite/applications submitted

Thu Jan 25 17:20:55 1996

Name:
A: What difference does it make?

Email:
A: none

Home Page:
A: ya right

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: relevancy?

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I don't feel about food. Fulfillment of an urge.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: I AM my biggest flaw.

3 favorite authors
A: robert mcfarland, robert mcfarland, and robert...

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: bags of empty bottles, soft hands, and knees that don't crack

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: rubbing my buttered belly on the mirror

What is your favorite animal?
A: twelve day old soap-scum.
Describe it.
A: well' you know, its uh kind of like that

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: the girls i know don't kiss
Jump her?
A: 23 seconds
Dump her?
A: just a bit later

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: kissed what?
Had sex
A: specify.
Smoked Pot?
A: that assumes alot

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: No

What?
A: redundancy

When?
A: three o'five

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: her
Who cooked?
A: her
Who cleaned?
A: her

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: No

What are the things you cook best?
A: swedish frogs

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: conditionerhemeroidzit creme

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: masteurbated in front of on coming train
as a college student?
A: rip off the college
as a working stiff?
A: worked the stiffy

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: a fruit or vegetable, duh!
If I were, what would I be?
A: long and dull

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: rub my pecker on them both

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: No

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A:

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: turning men into women, cause after all...

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: a hole that can't be filled

...all men have?
A: a bag we can't put stuff in

...with our society?
A: oh shit....

Which do you prefer:
A: Plants

Why?
A: ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggk

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: pussy for my dog

The second?
A: pussy for ezra

The last?
A: a computer

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: me

How do people describe you?
A: annoying

How do you describe yourself?
A: thats close enough

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No

Which?
A:

What are your favorite shoes?
A: these right here

Additional Comments
A: goddam that was long


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