Sun Feb 11 0:13:42 1996
Name:
A: John Burke
Email:
A: burke@dogwood.botany.uga.edu
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Food is my friend. I eat when I get scared.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: my hair
3 favorite authors
A: Crichton, Rother, and Smith.
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Genetic engineering, less bugs, clean vaginas.
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Dating Angie Woods
What is your favorite animal?
A: Angie Woods
Describe it.
A: Pain in the ass.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: When she answers the phone.
Jump her?
A: When she says "yes" to a date.
Dump her?
A: never
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 23
Had sex
A:
Smoked Pot?
A: 20
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: No
What?
A: I said no.
When?
A: okay...once in awhile
Still?
A: No
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: him
Who cooked?
A: me
Who cleaned?
A: both
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: No
What are the things you cook best?
A: Scrambled eggs and grits. I also make a mean ice cream cone.
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: hairspray and more hairspray...it's a fetish
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: talk out of turn
as a college student?
A: group sex
as a working stiff?
A: I don't have to work to be stiff.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: corn
If I were, what would I be?
A: peach
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: masterbate furiously
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: My attorney has told me not to answer that question
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: Yes
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: my penis
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: can't hold their liquor
...all men have?
A: can't hold their flatulence
...with our society?
A: Newt Gingrich
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: They have big roots
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: love
The second?
A: A Toyota Tercel
The last?
A: Windows 95
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: G Money
How do people describe you?
A: Lurch
How do you describe yourself?
A: Dick Gregory
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Swank
What are your favorite shoes?
A: Keds
Additional Comments
A: I'm pretty. I'm the king of the world...I'm a bad man.