webshite/applications submitted

Thu Feb 15 12:32:59 1996

Name:
A: Craig Hebert

Email:
A: chebert@io.uwinnipeg.ca

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Food makes me move and do things like jump up and down. I eat so that I can maintain a continual state of hyperactivity. I love it!

What is your biggest flaw?
A: Sleep deprivation

3 favorite authors
A: E. A. Poe, Sylvia Plath, and Jack Kerouac

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Light speed thought, light speed emotion, light speed action

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Deep intolerance of ignorance.

What is your favorite animal?
A: Great White Sharks
Describe it.
A: Underwater bears!

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: A day or so
Jump her?
A: After the kiss... if it's good.
Dump her?
A: When she burns out from life at high speeds.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 8
Had sex
A: 14
Smoked Pot?
A: 9

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: Pot, Acid sometimes, any THC-based drug

When?
A: Right this very moment, honey.

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated

Who worked?
A: Both of us.
Who cooked?
A: Me.
Who cleaned?
A: Both of us.

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Lasagna, perogies, Caeser salad and cookies.

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: All but gel, mousse, hairspray and aftershave

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Robbed a convience store on acid in broad daylight
as a college student?
A: Climbed the University Centre and shouted, "I am the Walrus!"
as a working stiff?
A: Tossed a full load (40 pieces) of KFC at a manager for calling me an asshole.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A pineapple... prickly outside, sweet inside.
If I were, what would I be?
A: A honeydew melon.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Introduce myself to the gentleman, and join the conversation.

Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: I've had (non-drug induced) visons and flashes of images run before my mind at times. Read my poetry... That'd be the best way of explaining it.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Microwave ovens.

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: ALL Women?? Hmm... menstruation I would say.

...all men have?
A: Rampant disregard for what pleases women.

...with our society?
A: Ignorance and hatred.

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

Why?
A: Animals are sublime; they eat and breed and play; plants often don't.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A gift for you.

The second?
A: A gift for me.

The last?
A: A blow-up doll :)

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Henry Rollins

How do people describe you?
A: A beatnik wolverine... Non-bohemian but with mad poetic dreams.

How do you describe yourself?
A: The idiot passing you on the shoulder at 300,000,000 mph.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No

Which?
A:

What are your favorite shoes?
A: My $30 Canadian combats

Additional Comments
A: Heh heh. I wondered at this link, it made me curious. So I thought I'd take the time to do this. Would you like to read some of my stuff? If anything, it'll give you a better idea of who I am. About my web page the U of W won't allow profanity at all; I'm building a new one post-haste.


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