Fri Mar 15 8:32:59 1996
Name:
A: satan's hat blocker
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Eating is only the first step of my plan to internalize the universe.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I fall in love too easily
3 favorite authors
A: James Baldwin, Richard Adams, John Milton
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: immortality
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I do what I'm told to do
What is your favorite animal?
A: a crow
Describe it.
A: moody, but the folks like her
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: a week or two
Jump her?
A: a month or three
Dump her?
A: a year or five
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 19
Had sex
A: 20
Smoked Pot?
A: 22
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: pot, alcohol
When?
A: 2:16 AM EST
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: we
Who cooked?
A: we but she was better at it
Who cleaned?
A: cleaned?
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: anything from a box or wrapped in plastic
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: mousse and deodorant, but I'll never be clean enough
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I filled a shopping cart with at least $500 worth of software and electronics at a local dept. store, pushed it to the front of the store, stuffed it into my backpack and walked out.
as a college student?
A: I got married and divorced
as a working stiff?
A: I stole a box of paperclips, the kind that look like spaceships
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: a skinless grape
If I were, what would I be?
A: I hardly know you ma'am
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: follow him into the bathroom and compare dick sizes
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: I've been in the same zip code if you get my meaning
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: the steadicam
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: they can't take autonomy for granted
...all men have?
A: they take autonomy for granted
...with our society?
A: joan osborne
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: a plant killed my brother
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: four million quarters
The second?
A: ten million dimes
The last?
A: a hundred million pennies
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: I haven't met her yet
How do people describe you?
A: a quiet fellow, kept to himself mostly
How do you describe yourself?
A: lord of the underworld, master of all I survey
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: hotwired, feed, suck, traffic, nyw
What are your favorite shoes?
A: I don't rock filas, I only rock addidas
Additional Comments
A: how can you be so skinny and live SO fat?