webshite/applications submitted

Tue Mar 19 11:17:41 1996

Name:
A: Stephen Kramer/Wakko Warner/DJSAK

Email:
A: skramer@nox.cs.du.edu

Home Page:
A: http://nox.cs.du.edu:8001/~skramer/home.html

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: Link it up and tie it down

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Food kicks. I mean, one should eat food when one is hungry, of course; though there is something to be said for moderate starvation. However, food is a very sensual and pleasurable thing to experience in the world; from erotic strawberries to fluid drippy chocolate to predatorial BBQ ribs to artistic mashed potatoes to oogly-woogly-wobbly Jello to suggestive vegetables. It's all a mind trip, if you're into the time slip...and a lot of fun. Then again, you can just chow down on anything that's handy, rilly. :) All depends on what kind of planar traveler you are I s'pose.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: My hair refuses to behave unless I tame it with gook and conditioner - otherwise it's a wild mane. :) Go fig.

3 favorite authors
A: Erhrrrrrmmm. Anne Rice Harry Harrison Bill Watterson (Calvin)/Scott Adams (Dilbert) So I picked 4 technically. Everyone has their different style, and I enjoy many of them. When I have time.

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Damn, that's easy. Being happy. Happy at what you do, happy at who yer with, happy with who you are, hopefully happy with where you're going. All else is pretty irrelevant, although money and everything else can be really nice to have. :) Being able to master time instead of having it master you too is a big big plus. I wobble between the 2, myself.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: This is a trick question, I'm sure. :)

What is your favorite animal?
A: Cat/ferret/Warner - if animals the Warners be, indeed. >q:o9
Describe it.
A: Cat: 4 paws, liquid body, crazed mind, cuddles, not much shedding. Ferret: same+scampering. Warner:watch "Animaniacs":)

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: 15 minutes to 2 weeks, depending on chemical factors and mutual attractability and easy to read signs. :)
Jump her?
A: Woo hoo. :) X hours to a month or 2, same reasons. I also *love* women who take initiative..>;)
Dump her?
A: Not until she turns unfaithful, psychotic (in a bad way :), or completely ga-ga-murderous.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 8
Had sex
A: 18. A lot of close calls between 15-17 tho.
Smoked Pot?
A: 19

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: No

What?
A: I have used pot, e/X/MDMA, shrooms, but gotta stay clean for those high-paying-job drug tests. Feh.

When?
A: Last time was probably 2 years ago. I drift through clouds at concerts though.

Still?
A: No

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated

Who worked?
A: We both did.
Who cooked?
A: We both did.
Who cleaned?
A: Guess. :) a) You guessed it, b) no one did, c) I got whipped. ;)

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Stir-fry, various things with wine, creative things I toss together. :)

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Common: deodorant, conditioner Pretty rare: mousse, hairspray Rare: gel, cologne, zitcream, aftershave

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Either jumping from the roof frames of 3-story houses, or taking 4 of my friends SAT's for them for Xmas money. Heh. >:)
as a college student?
A: Too many to list. :) Ermmmmmm...(thinks hard, scritches head) ....mmmmmmmmm.....aieeeee! I can't think anymore! Your test has defeated me! (hehehehe :) Probably going on a high-speed chase (me being the pursued :) for 10 miles with 3 police cars in tow and losing them :) because my passengers were carrying drugs on them, skydiving (which is pretty wild all by itself), or getting back into school after I flunked out end of soph year because I had chosen the *extremely* wrong major - and getting back in, mostly preserving my GPA and my college career, in another major - without the university or my parents ever finding out all that really happened. It was a really amazing work of art, actually. :) (Never stick with a major you're bombing in longer than you have to just to show your parents you aren't a quitter. It can screw you over royally. :)
as a working stiff?
A: Hmmmm. You mean, in my working stiff YEARS, or in my role AS a working stiff? :) AS a, probably, was getting someone fired for sexual harassment. (Yes, the door does swing both ways. Yee haaaa! ]:O };) In my working stiff years..sticking with the company I am with for 4 years. Oh wait, that's stupid- ity. :) Um...nearly marrying one of my ex-girlfriends when she got pregnant by someone else - while she was still involved with me. Oh wait (smacks head), that's stupidity again. >:) I really have no idea. Maaaaybe...packing up one week, quitting my job, and staying in Austin Texas for no particular reason at all except I thought I'd be happier there, for a year. (I was. Happier. :) Hard to say. (I wasn't quite a working stiff then in the sense of 'career'.) Damn, I'm long winded. Here, have a french fry. :)

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Heh. ;) All stock answers aside O:), a STRAWBERRY!!! They are proof of a heaven, one God, many gods, or anything good.
If I were, what would I be?
A: Well geez, I'd hope you'd be a strawberry too, so I could just eat you out, er, gobble you up. >:) ;)

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Prrrrrrrobably ignore it because I trust my mates (foolish, sometimes, I know); and be having a good time chatting with other beautiful and intriguing women. :) I like loyal people, as I am loyal; and if they have to look somewhere else, they'll be the ones missing out in the long run. :) I have many skills and attributes which make me desirable. ;)

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: Yes

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: Cuz I've been there, and done that. Really. Quite literally. I remember when I snapped into it...and when I snapped out of it, about 2 months later...and immediately freaked out on returning for a few hours. Believe me - it's NOT pretty or fun. Although it wasn't really scary when I was there, just... different. Fearful at times, but not out and out scary. And strange, strange, strange...

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Well, that rules out the phone, TV, planes, etc..I'd have to say probably the home PC. I'm biased though somewhat. :)

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: *ALL* women, huh? Lessee. "That occasional irritability". :) If it was just some or most, the list is longer....

...all men have?
A: *ALL* men, huh? Hmmmm-ba. I wish you'd just said some men. :) Umm...errr...stubbornness? Desire to impress constantly?

...with our society?
A: The U.S. in specific, er what? THAT one I'd say is being a military peacekeeper in places we don't belong. Like Bosnia. If you're talking in a humanistic sense, always being obsessed with achievement and not making time out to relax or have KwAL-iH-tea time. or somethin like that. :)

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

Why?
A: Animals are mobile, responsive, and can act crazy. Very few plants are. :)

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: I'd pay off my parents' mortgage in thanks for all they've done. Hokey, but true. (shrug)

The second?
A: A 1-way plane ticket to some long cruise line to Someplace Better. :) Prolly.

The last?
A: I only get to buy 3 things? Fuck that! :)

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Honestly - *me*. :/ Odd, but true.

How do people describe you?
A: A bit outta the norm. :) Friendly, likable, warm/affectionate, weird, and occasionally obnoxious - depending on who you talk to. :) I think most of my friends love me to death, rilly. :) My work friends and I get along well, but they don't like interacting too much, so it's harder to guess with them. Easy to get along with, I'd say.

How do you describe yourself?
A: Everything you could ever want. >:) A living paradox, covering both poles or a spectrum in between on most things - the few I am solidly on generally being I am nearly always nice/friend- ly, try to help people, and generally lean :/ on the side of, um, "good". I used to be an angel, but then I fell down. :/ (Still, that has its advantages. >:) Passionate about the things that I do love. Casual, but devoted. Attentive. Pretty independent in general, but seeking that special "closure" to be found, I hope. :) (I don't _really_ believe in soulmates anymore..:/ :( )...erm...guided by emotions in general, but a deep thinker a lot of the time too. Silly at times. %^9 Perhaps playful would be a good word to use with that too. I don't let many people see all sides of me; but once you get close, I am very open. :)

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

Which?
A: Men's Fitness, Vegetarian Times (I'm not, they just have cool recipes in :), the occasional R.Stone/2600/whateverscatchy

What are your favorite shoes?
A: Either my New Balances or my Nike ACG Gear sandals. Whee! 8^9

Additional Comments
A: I can be anything or do anything for you, to you, with you. :) Where we go (at least direction-wise) is up to you. :) I'm funny, intelligent (fairly), affectionate, cute/sexy (not from my lips, although I generally agree most days :), "skilled" 8^9, and could give you the ride (experience-wise) of your life. :) I have a wide variety of musical and movie affinities, give killer-yum massages, can adapt according to whoever I am with because I am many things in general, and uh, you'd have a damned good time with me. >:) Wow. All this for a date, huh? It's been...pretty fun! ;) See you soon...maybe...


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