Tue Apr 30 11:14:49 1996
Name:
A: Hugh G. Rection
Email:
A: No, I just read it.
Home Page:
A: Earth
Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: mailed
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: O.K. I quess unless I ever find out that food has been talking about me behind my back. I eat to impress girls
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I eat to impress girls
3 favorite authors
A: Author Fonzaralia
Auther Dent
Auther Auther
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Not dying
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Filling out this application in ink on my monitor
What is your favorite animal?
A: Politicians
Describe it.
A: White, male, old and F.O.S.
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: I don't know any girls
Jump her?
A: When I'm on my bike and I see a girl laying on the ground
Dump her?
A: Why? Are they not impressed by my ability to eat
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 27
Had sex
A: 14
Smoked Pot?
A: 12 or 15 or maybe I never smoked pot?
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Ben Gay, Afrin, Anacin, coffee, liquid wrench
When?
A: I have alot of important work to do, when driving a car or operating heavy machinery or on first dates
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated
Who worked?
A: Neither
Who cooked?
A: Rosa
Who cleaned?
A: Rosa
Do you know how to cook?
A: No
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: Burnt Alligator snout a la Dog Poop and books
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: defined used. I would never lead-on any assosory unless my feeling where real but if it's not right why be unhappy?
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Once I put a walkie-talkie down a well and convinced the whole town that I was a small child named Timmy who was trapped at the bottom. Wait a minute that was Bart Simpson. I quess I don't really remember my adolecence.
as a college student?
A: I once sign up for an 8 o'clock class. What was even crazier.... I once showed up. I'm a madman.
as a working stiff?
A: Mailed pipe bombs to all my co-workers, wait a minute that was my uncle Ted.
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Ronald Regan
If I were, what would I be?
A: You?
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Well at first glance I would probably determine that the President must die. But after I came to my senses, I would probably try to beat my girlfriend to the punch. So I would ask the guy she was talking to go out on a date with me. I'm not gay , but if I was I think men would find me attractive. So many men keep telling me they would like to go to my ass.
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Why do you ask? Who sent you? Where are all the lights coming from? Do you like me? If a train leaves Boston traveling east and a Bus leave Fremont traveling up what is thw capital of Paint. To be or Not to be etc. et al and otherwise so forth(get the picture?)
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: Yes
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Big, hairsprayed bangs(saw that coming didn't you)
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: They keep calling the cops whenever I try do something cute for them, like assinate the President. Chicks, go figure
...all men have?
A: Who cares it's our problems that attract women
...with our society?
A: People lack confidence in themselves, but what do I know?
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: Plants make better lovers
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: The love of a good woman
The second?
A: A good Divorce lawyer
The last?
A: the love of a good divorce lawyer
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: That voice inside my head
How do people describe you?
A: With words and gestures
How do you describe yourself?
A: By drawing a picture
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: Flatulence Today, Modern Antiques, Death, Kites and Texans, and any NRA pub
What are your favorite shoes?
A: The left ones
Additional Comments
A: I must admit I may have not been completely honest here. (I used a fake name)