webshite/applications submitted

Tue Jun 4 12:20:05 1996

Name:
A: xray spex

Email:
A: mglass@amaranth.com

Home Page:
A: too embarassing to even say

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I'm always hungry for something; companionship, compassion, argument, or food. Food is just the easist of those to get.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: oscillating levels of self-esteem

3 favorite authors
A: Kurt Vonnegut, Rudy Rucker, Robert Heinlein. (Ok, so Heinlein was a dirty old man. Sue me.)

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Never getting pissed off at anything.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Wanting everybody to like me.

What is your favorite animal?
A: Sea monkey.
Describe it.
A: I'm not really sure, but I bet they don't eat or shit much.

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: If she wants to be kissed, not very long. Is this a trick question?
Jump her?
A: If she wants to be jumped, not very long. Is this another trick question?
Dump her?
A: I've never dumped anybody, so I don't know. I've always been the dumpee.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 17... I was a slow starter.
Had sex
A: 20.
Smoked Pot?
A: 17. It's probably why I didn't get laid until I was 20.

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: I plead the 5th.

When?
A: ditto.

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: Me, mostly.
Who cooked?
A: Me, mostly.
Who cleaned?
A: Nobody, mostly. We were pigs.

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Stuff where everything is mixed together, like soups, stews, stir fry, rice pilaf, etc.

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Cologne. It was a gift from my brother when he worked for Calvin Klein. I didn't buy any more when it was gone.

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Drove my car 40 mph over the speed limit everywhere I went. Driving really really drunk and stoned.
as a college student?
A: Running from a cop when he tried to pull me over for speeding. (I got away.)
as a working stiff?
A: Telling the people I work for what I really think of them.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Sorry, I just can't see myself as anything but an animal.
If I were, what would I be?
A: A carrot, but I have no justification for that notion.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Trust her. If I didn't, she wouldn't be my girlfriend in the first place. (And that's not a bullshit answer.)

Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: No

Why?
A: "Complete" is too extreme. I don't think anybody is completely sane or insane. I am certainly neither. People who are labeled as "completely" insane are probably only a little worse off than average, but MUCH MUCH unhappier about it.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: I apologize in advance, but I must answer truthfully: the computer.

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: setting their standards too high when it comes to men. Wanting Mr. Right, settling for Mr. Okay, and hating him for it.

...all men have?
A: Not being able to understand a woman's point of view.

...with our society?
A: Not being interested or caring about other people's points of view.

Which do you prefer:
A: Animals

Why?
A: They interact. Less predictable than a plant.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A house.

The second?
A: A nice used car.

The last?
A: Clothes.

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: It would probably be more meaningful to say who hasn't been an influence.

How do people describe you?
A: Intelligent, argumentative, funny, unpredictable, loyal, compassionate.

How do you describe yourself?
A: Intelligent, argumentative, funny, unpredictable, loyal, compassionate. Not necessarily in that order.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: No

Which?
A:

What are your favorite shoes?
A: New Balance CT-675's. Anything soft and ugly.

Additional Comments
A: I'm not above letting the woman pay for a date. That's a hint.


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