webshite/applications submitted

Sun Jun 9 3:50:27 1996

Name:
A: Whitney

Email:
A: gearinp@icc.pdx.edu

Home Page:
A: Stop pressuring me, I'll get to it.

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: Whatever would please you

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: #1 Pretty good. #2 I receive profound pleasure in defication.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: I am easily distracted by questionaires when I should be working.

3 favorite authors
A: Orwell, Dickens, Camus, in that order.

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Deep seeded misanthropy, and/or the ability to smoothly introduce college words/concepts into cocktail party conversations.

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Believing everything I saw on television.

What is your favorite animal?
A: marmot
Describe it.
A: a big rat-like beasty with a bushy tail.

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: her ass? - instaneously. Actual kiss - a couple of hours to never.
Jump her?
A: Variable, once she opens the door?... as soon as humanly possible.
Dump her?
A: I'd say that when I am the 'dumper' - as opposed to the 'dumpee' - about 2 to 6 mos. (in general.)

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 14
Had sex
A: 17
Smoked Pot?
A: 15

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: Rum and cokes specifically.

When?
A: I am drinking one right now, specifically..

Still?
A: No

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Cohabitated

Who worked?
A: We both did (in theory.)
Who cooked?
A: I did (she could burn corn flakes.)
Who cleaned?
A: We both did (in theory.)

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: I am as versatile a cook as I am accomplished; specifically speaking, I make an unbelievable omelette.

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: I use both deodorant and conditioner, but not necessarily as they are intended.

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I stole my step-mother's car, and dissappeared with it into the Southwestern United States for three months, accompanied only by a paranoid-schizophrenic named Eldon.
as a college student?
A: Drank a half gallon of tequilla with my roomate in forty-five minutes.
as a working stiff?
A: I continue to go to work, I mean, every day.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A pomegranate (smooth and inviting on the outside, horribly compicated on the inside, yet generally worth the trouble.)
If I were, what would I be?
A: I would have to taste you to answer that one of course.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: "Probably nothing," says mister confidence (unless of course they happened to be naked at the time, and then I would most likely leave.)

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: Eldon forgot his anti-psychotic medication, and refused to get more (it got a little bizarre in Phoenix.)

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: me.

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: men

...all men have?
A: men

...with our society?
A: Too many goddamned people.

Which do you prefer:
A: Plants

Why?
A: Very little yammering.

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: A house with a backyard.

The second?
A: a shovel.

The last?
A: a whole shitload of mason jars.

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: That would a toss-up between my mother and my shrink, both of them have been trying to mind-fuck me for years.

How do people describe you?
A: tall, extra-ordinarily talented, arrogant, funny, grumpy.

How do you describe yourself?
A: shorter than most ceilings.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

Which?
A: Macworld, New York Times

What are your favorite shoes?
A: Sperry canvas deck shoes.

Additional Comments
A: Though I don't have a home page presently (I do, ironically, design them for a living,) if you actually respond to my questionaire, I will construct one for you to peruse as quickly as it takes you to respond to this. It is now 4:20 am on Sunday morning, if you respond by 4 pm Monday, that would give me a little less than 36 hours to put something up. If you didn't respond until next Sunday, that would give me a week. If you are willing, I'll promise to make the page interesting enough to be worth your while (no nudes though, sorry.) This all sounds terribly clever to me after thirty-six hours of computer-lab hell, that could be a problem, but I'm sensing you might be game, What have you to lose? Oh, by the way, I dig your drawings.


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