webshite/applications submitted

Sun Jun 16 9:57:04 1996

Name:
A: Jedmo Diaz

Email:
A: jedmo@gcn.scri.fsu.edu

Home Page:
A: http://gcn.scri.fsu.edu/~jedmo/

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: unlink'd, fer sher

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I want to put the whole outside in me.

What is your biggest flaw?
A: Weakness for abstract thought.

3 favorite authors
A: Haruki Murakami, Harry Crews, and Tanith Lee

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Obesity, fast cars, and houses

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: Predilection for handicapped girls

What is your favorite animal?
A: Puff the Magic Dragonne
Describe it.
A: Large lizard with droopy stoned eyes

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: either less than 2 hours or more than 5 years
Jump her?
A: ditto
Dump her?
A: ditto

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: people love babies
Had sex
A: I was born with gender
Smoked Pot?
A: I've never done it, maaaan.

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: brain chemicals

When?
A: when the time is ripe

Still?
A:

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married

Who worked?
A: It's all work, innit?
Who cooked?
A: Miles Davis really cooked.
Who cleaned?
A: Who?

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: Yes

What are the things you cook best?
A: Fried chick'n, bouliebaise, boerf burginion, cheezesteak, hatian banana soup

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: Toothpaste.

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Quit to be college student.
as a college student?
A: Quit to be a werkin stiff.
as a working stiff?
A: Remained the same.

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: A lime.
If I were, what would I be?
A: A coconut. Or a pommegranite. Or a quince.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Animatedly? Like Hungarians?

Do you think there is life after death?
A:

On other planets?
A:

Are you psychic?
A:

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A:

Why?
A: Because I don't do well on complex binary questions.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A:

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Big hairsprayed bangs like a punk rocker or a poodlehead?

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: I've known women with no discernable problems of any kind.

...all men have?
A: Penis too small (less than 24 inches is too small).

...with our society?
A: Too much value placed on the sanctity of human life.

Which do you prefer:
A:

Why?
A:

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: My freedom.

The second?
A: A lime soda.

The last?
A: A pistol.

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: My baby boy.

How do people describe you?
A: A young Danny Kaye. Or a white Dennis Rodman. (I hate sports.)

How do you describe yourself?
A: The best thing since canned fish.

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

Which?
A: Graphis

What are your favorite shoes?
A: Engineer's Boots

Additional Comments
A: "You are not going to pay a lot for this muffler, baby."


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