webshite/applications submitted

Mon Jun 17 18:15:13 1996

Name:
A: MOndo Jock

Email:
A: kock@kock.com

Home Page:
A: http://well.hung.com/

Would you prefer your email be linked, unlinked, or anonymous?
A: anything you want, baby

How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: i dunno

What is your biggest flaw?
A: that I have none

3 favorite authors
A: V.C. Andrews

What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: A new Ford Taurus

What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: my double Y chromosome

What is your favorite animal?
A: capybara
Describe it.
A: the largest rodent on Earth

How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: years and years
Jump her?
A: never have (yet)
Dump her?
A: I'm in it for life, baby.

How old were you when you first kissed?
A: probably a few minutes...
Had sex
A: 23 years and counting
Smoked Pot?
A: 16

Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes

What?
A: diet pills, nitrous, ketamine

When?
A: every weekend

Still?
A: Yes

Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Neither

Who worked?
A: I can't seem to hold down a job...
Who cooked?
A: I don't believe in cooked food.
Who cleaned?
A: very funny

Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes

Do you like to cook?
A: No

What are the things you cook best?
A: bunnies

Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: all of them - but I've given them up

What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: I grew up.
as a college student?
A: masturbated too much
as a working stiff?
A: masturbated too much

If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: I'd be a coconut - cause they're silly
If I were, what would I be?
A: you'd be a cucumber.

If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: hope they'd get it on and stop torturing me before I had to kill one of them

Do you think there is life after death?
A: No

On other planets?
A: Yes

Are you psychic?
A: No

Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes

Why?
A: ONce I did way too much acid and thought Dragons were crawling out of my lungs.

Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No

Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: Yes

What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Yer mama.

What is the biggest problem...

...all women have?
A: They remind me of Mom

...all men have?
A: They remind me of Dad

...with our society?
A: They remind me of my older siblings that used to beat me up.

Which do you prefer:
A: Plants

Why?
A: They're much more diverse

If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: political favors

The second?
A: land

The last?
A: a new suit

Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Johnny Rotten

How do people describe you?
A: obnoxious twit

How do you describe yourself?
A: obnoxious twit

Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes

Which?
A: Nat'l Geographic

What are your favorite shoes?
A: Keds

Additional Comments
A: I wish these forms weren't so long.


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