Fri Jun 21 23:50:29 1996
Name:
A: Steve Hawley
Email:
A: hawley@zoom.com
Home Page:
A: http://www.zoom.com/~hawley
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: I feel about food with my hands. I eat to startle octogenarians
What is your biggest flaw?
A: I give out too much money.
3 favorite authors
A: Larry Gonick, Orson Scott Card, Sinclair Lewis
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: a case of canned beans and a pocket full of cheese
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: I'm a pathological liar
What is your favorite animal?
A: choloate bunnies
Describe it.
A: The non-hollow kind with a purple ribbon
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: femptoseconds
Jump her?
A: nanoseconds
Dump her?
A: milliseconds
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 0x11
Had sex
A: 0x13
Smoked Pot?
A: 0x15
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: Winnebagos
When?
A: on vacation
Still?
A: Yes
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: me
Who cooked?
A: me
Who cleaned?
A: me
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: sunnyside minds on drigs
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: gel mousse cologne dedorant aftashave
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: Stuck a piece of blue paper to a chicken then frightened it.
as a college student?
A: Sniped people from the bell tower
as a working stiff?
A: Went postal in a McDonalds
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: Loquat
If I were, what would I be?
A: Karen Ann Quinlen
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Paint a smile on my forehead with salmon mousse
Do you think there is life after death?
A: Yes
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: No
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Well I did those crazy things, right?
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: Zip-Loc
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: men
...all men have?
A: women
...with our society?
A: people aren't wearing enough hats
Which do you prefer:
A: Plants
Why?
A: Animals bleed more when you bite into them
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: An ottoman
The second?
A: a Reliant k-car
The last?
A: Kraft Dinner
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: David Berkowitz
How do people describe you?
A: quiet, keeps to himself, not at all the type to kill Buckwheat
How do you describe yourself?
A: He looks a lot like me, but Im taller.
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: San Jose Mercury Fishwrapper
What are your favorite shoes?
A: Birks
Additional Comments
A: