Mon Jun 24 13:44:44 1996
Name:
A: Bob
Home Page:
A: http://www.bob.com
How do you FEEL about food? Why do you eat?
A: Texture is important. I recently tried whole shrimp at the urging of , ahem, friend. No thanks. Clean them for me. I'll pay extra for cyin out loud.
What is your biggest flaw?
A: idealism
3 favorite authors
A: Dostoyevsky, Faulkner, Vonnegut
What are the hallmarks of success in life?
A: Making marks on the halls and not giving a shit who sees
What is your biggest mental fuck-up?
A: when I put my shorts on back wards and don't realize it until I'm in a meetin.
What is your favorite animal?
A: Capybarras
Describe it.
A: the largest rodents in the world. cool
How long do you usually know a girl before you kiss her?
A: minutes
Jump her?
A: hours
Dump her?
A: days
How old were you when you first kissed?
A: 15
Had sex
A: 16
Smoked Pot?
A: 13
Do you use recreational drugs?
A: Yes
What?
A: pot, mushrooms, Lysol
When?
A: not very often, sorry
Still?
A:
Have you ever been married/lived with someone?
A: Married
Who worked?
A: me
Who cooked?
A: me
Who cleaned?
A: me
Do you know how to cook?
A: Yes
Do you like to cook?
A: Yes
What are the things you cook best?
A: You name it. Creativity is paramount. No recipes ever followed exact
Have you ever used any of the following (which?): gel hairspray mousse cologne deodorant conditioner zitcream aftershave
A: deodorant once or twice
What was the most crazy thing you ever did as an adolescent?
A: get married
as a college student?
A: study philosophy
as a working stiff?
A: study married philosophers
If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?
A: rutabega
If I were, what would I be?
A: dancing carrot
If you were at a party, and across the room you saw a very handsome man and your girlfriend chatting quite animatedly, what would you do?
A: Go postal
Do you think there is life after death?
A: No
On other planets?
A: Yes
Are you psychic?
A: Yes
Do you think you have any sort of understanding of what it would be like to completely insane?
A: Yes
Why?
A: Filling out this form
Were you ever in the armed forces?
A: No
Did you ever kiss a girl who had big, hairsprayed bangs?
A: No
What was the most important scientific achievement in the last 50 years?
A: washable markers
What is the biggest problem...
...all women have?
A: lack of courage to be themselves
...all men have?
A: lack of courage to be themselves
...with our society?
A: locking up people who have courage to be themselves
Which do you prefer:
A: Animals
Why?
A: plants are difficult to walk and play frisbee with
If you won $1 million, what would be the very first thing you would buy?
A: a bouqet of roses for my girlfriend
The second?
A: a bouqet of roses for myself
The last?
A: some band aids for my finger
Who has been the greatest influence in your life?
A: Ron Smotherman
How do people describe you?
A: Everyone be quiet, here he comes
How do you describe yourself?
A: A feral human. I was set loose too early, never learning that whole social graces thing
Do you subscribe to any magazines/newspapers?
A: Yes
Which?
A: How, New Media, Print, MacWeek, Fry, Safeway coupon circular
What are your favorite shoes?
A: clown
Additional Comments
A: OK. I actually blew a whole half hour filling our this scatalogical form. I think I'm going to make an appointment with my therapist right now to find out what prompted me to do this. I'm thinking perhaps some deep repressed sexual ppppproblem. Sonic. you are hilarious, don't ever change.