"If i had choice of weapons with you, sir, i'd choose grammar," Lady for a Day, 1933

"Like i would *care* if my porn likes Silvia Plath or not." - Jose Kirkland

"Give war a chance." - Wayne Bremser

"Vest harder." - Brian Moseley

"Money hasn't changed me. I still eat ramen." - Josh

"You fuckers eat more disk than god." - Jason Weisberger

"Hickey used the word 'kill' in a positive way 8 times; up 2 from his last speech." - James Home


"Peachy moist beef curtains" - Zach Hoon

"Never underestimate a man's ability to underestimate a woman" - Kathleen Turner as V.I. Warshawski

"View the source, Luke!" - Judge

"Altavista is my bitch" - le

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Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?"
Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."
- Gary Trudeau, Doonesbury

"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman in one who can find such a man." - Lana Turner

"Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

"Talkers are no good doers." - William Shakespeare, Henry VI

"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen

"A woman who is not a fool is dangerous."
[Stout, Rex. Seven Complete Nero Wolfe Novels- The Silent Speaker

"I need a change of screen." -me

"Joke's on us, damn information supergalleyslaveship..." -Caleb Donaldson

"Time wounds all heels." -Robert A. Heinlein

"And once you get involved in the book racket and begin running from shop to shop, the devil knows what kind of nonsense might ensue."
Vladimir Nabakov, King, Queen, Knave, 138

"Of course, I'm no scientist. I'm only a woman."
[Ibid, 139]

"Some things you can feel coming. You don't fall in love because you fall in love; you fall in love because of the need, desperate, to fall in love. When you feel that need, you have to watch your step; like having drunk a philter, the kind that makes you fall in love with the first thing you meet. It could be a duck-billed platypus."
[Eco, Umberto. Foucault's Pendulum, p. 195-6]

"Eat your beans. It'll put hair on your chest." -my dad

"male hormone oozes from every fucking pore in my body__i sweat male hormone__i drool male hormone__my tears are pure male hormone__when i exert myself i stink of testosterone__my balls are like giant planets engulfed in chaotic storms of toxic gases__i'm like some beast who marks off his territory with his reeking yellow urine__my sperm is like a virulent milkshake of recombinant worms__my penis smells like an uncorked decanter of fermented smegma__geysers of purple molten shit explode from my asshole, destroying villages in its path__i'm all man__100% man"
[Leyner, Mark. My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist, Vintage Books, 1993, p. 89]

"I wish to pursue a life of truth, beauty, a measure of silence, and an absence of blind hysteria. My family just doesn't fit in." -Annienonymous

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